September 28, 2009
Just CHILL already!
It’s a day home with the kids for me as I honor my Jewish friends and their yearly holiday.
We’re off to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, play outside in between Tornado warnings and basically just chill. I love days to just chill, both with my kids and all by myself.
But like a lot of over-scheduled moms, I often have trouble with my own ability to simply chill…who has the time? And when there is a bright shinning moment of ME time, there is also a house full of un-done projects to whisk me away.
Which brings me to today’s video.
Today’s post comes from my new web friend, super cool mom, and etiquette specialist to the stars Mindy Lockard from Manner of the Month She’s here to share her own angst about the big C word. She needs our advice girls, and quite frankly so do I.
Thank you for hosting me today Meredith. I can’t wait to read how your readers/viewers chill out. Enjoy the celebration with your friends!
My only chill time would be my bath every morning. 15 minutes alone in the solitude of a warm tub. Lately, however, that has even been a challenge. My husbands schedule has changed so I am getting in later. Usually as I climb into that hot relaxing water and lay back I hear little feet running down the hall, soon after faint knocking at the bathroom door, followed by “It is me ______. Is it Good Morning time? I have to pee!”
Time to start rising at 5 again.
Oh Sheri,
I too am a self professed bath-o-holic.
I have one on most nights, after the kids are in bed, or sometimes while they’re awake now that they are older.
Having boys who would rather eat slugs than see me naked helps in the privacy department.
But I often get a “MOOOOOOOM! CAN WE HAVE A SNAAAACK???”
just as my booty hits the bubbles:)
Oye! This is a skill at 35 that I simply have not even come close to mastering. My HUSBAND actually “gets it” and tells me I need to do it more but I simply can’t. I feel massive amounts of guilt. Like…I should be doing SOMETHING. If I go to sit down and try to read or surf the web, out of the corner of my eye is a dustball that decided to form the second my eyes hit the book or screen….I could always do another load of laundry…the kids movies are out of their cases …so I should really go put them away…I have some bills to do….or mail to go thru and it goes on and on from the smallest to largest projects.
I have a list of things I’d LIKE to do….but rarely do I do them. (Ask me about how I haven’t started scrapbooking yet — a project that I have wanted to start since my first was born…5 YEARS AGO.) And the funny thing about that — I know I’d LOVE it. I am a very creative and artsy person — but WHY won’t I allow myself to just dive right into it?
Perhaps someone will inspire me today …because I definately need it!
Hi….I have to respond, because my husband (who is an excellent “chiller”), thinks that I cannot “chill”. I have to admit, it can be a challenge for me, as I always feel like I should be doing something. What he doesn’t understand, is that even just getting a coffee can be relaxing for me… no pun intended. Just taking a long, hot shower also can be great, until my 3 year old comes and opens the door! Sadly, when it should be the easiest, when I am away from the internet, phone, etc., I often find myself worrying about what I need to be doing, what I should be doing, what needs my attention. Then I try to get outside… go to the beach, go for a walk around the lake, or just to the park with the kids. Until I am needed again!
Okay girls…there is definitely a trend here!
Our men are able to chill, really chill, and we aren’t.
What’s up with that?
Hmmm…I feel a research study coming on, but since I don’t do research, we may have to just help each other out.
Really, why is it we moms are frequently consumed with what NEEDS to be done, and disallow ourselves time to soak up a still moment?
Mindy & Meredith,
Hi there. I have to say that unlike most moms. I love to get my chill on! It wasn’t easy in the beginning but now I’ve gone pro in the “chill” department. I found that if I get a good, long dose of chill time it does wonders for my body and soul. So, about once a month I book a sitter on a Saturday morning. I inform my husband that I’m off duty until mid-day and that I am not to be interrupted at all. It is true bliss. I sleep in, I read the newspaper in bed, I watch re-runs of The Real Housewives of the O.C. And then stumble out into reality once I’m revived and rested. I highly recommend it.
WOW Lizzie,
I am seriously impressed. I feel like with both my kiddos in full-day school, I’m going to need to block out a couple of hours a week to just read that book I’ve been working on for 2 months, or go for a long walk to the lake (without my planner and a pen in my bag).
GOOD FOR YOU!! We should follow your lead. AND I do think it’s important for us to give our hard working husbands the same opportunity, maybe on a random Saturday afternoon.
Thanks for all of your great comments girls!
Ouch! You ladies need to come spend a day with the Worst Mother in the World! She/I know how to CHILL. Lucky for you the lessons are free!
Gotta go. it’s soooo cold in here….
Hey Heija!!
Okay, coming on over to your site where you know how to do this CHILL thing we speak of.
BTW, It honestly is frickin’ freezing in here right now. Chicago thinks it’s time for an early frost…just so WRONG.
Not to harp or anything, but isn’t there at least a teensy chance that a lot of moms think it’s somehow uncoolto a dmit that there are times when you are not thinking about the kids, the house, your Hubby or even anything worth repeating. Maybe the first step to Chillin’ Out is accepting the fact that taking a chill pill once in awhile does not an addict make. I am willing to bet that we are all waay better at chill-time than we like to admit.
Also, isn’t your chilltime different from my chill time? If you are doing something personally fulfilling that qualifies as chores to another, doesn’t that still qualify as chillin’?
Fulfilling yes, but I like it too…
Just wonderin’…:)
I certainly think that one person’s “chill time” could be another one’s work.
And for me, sitting down and reading in the middle of the day (not at night when my eyes shut after thee sentences), would be the ultimate relaxing thing to do for myself. I NEVER feel okay doing that. Like I stated above, baths are my chill of choice at the moment, and I don’t ever apologize for it.
I actually do not think that nurturing yourself is selfish…at all. And I agree that we often do think if someone is busy, busy, busy, they are somehow better people for it. I have a mom, who would agree with me, often finds it hard to be really IN a particular moment, always three steps ahead of herself. Always on “the go”.
I think it’s really healthy to be able to turn “off” once and awhile. I think you have it right in realizing the benefit of some personal downtime.
Hi, Ladies, Love the discussion! I think my struggle to chill is actually my perception of what chilling is. I chill out by being active. However, I do think that quiet and calm is good for the soul! All of this super cool talk has given me a lot to think about. And Heija, I may hit I-5 North to take you up on the free lessons!
I FULLY realize the ability to chill would ultimately improve my overall attitude, stress levels and just make me feel better about myself….I simply just can’t seem to do it without having a nagging feeling that I need to be doing something.
If I could find a way to silence it I would!
Right now, going to the grocery store by myself is chillin’ …or taking a shower. Just to not hear “noise” every once in awhile and just be quiet w/ my thoughts is heaven to me.
I loved Lizzie’s post. I’m gonna really try to adapt this to my life and I think this topic is definately worth having w/ my mommy friends and see just what they do!
Mindy, I can so relate to this thing that you describe as “trying” to chill. I just cannot do it either, no matter how hard I try. But I agree that the definition of chilling for me is probably not the same as it is for others. Even my employees see this and one of them brought me a free one month subsription to NetFlix, today actually, as their gift to me to get me to just watch a movie in the evening a couple of times a month…I politely told her that I just couldn’t do it. I even said “Do you know what I could get done in 2 hours?!?!?” She just laughed and said she cannot relate and that she has a rule that she does nothing but chill with a movie, book, etc. after 9:00 p.m.
I do so wish that I could figure out what it means to chill…for me. Let me know how your journey to chill goes.