February 18, 2010

BE the mom friend you’ve always wanted.

Thought I’d share my column from this month’s Chicago Parent magazine.

It’s a simple list that is intended to be a reminder of how gosh-darn important it is to be a good mom pal. An encouraging comrade can be a saving grace when you’re in the trenches with kids day in and day out.

Enough with the ego-fueled mommy wars, the gossipy carpool posses, and the judging of other moms for their parenting choices.

I say the only time you can have an opinion about someone’s parenting is if a kid is in danger, and then by all means speak the heck up. Other than that, spend your time finding ways to encourage your fellow-moms and raise em’ up whenever you can. It takes a village to raise a mom, but only a few grumpelstiltskins to knock one down. Here are five simple ways to show a mom some love.

1. Become captain of the cheering squad

Your BFF just got another promotion? Be the first to toast her success! Her kid just won the science fair and the spelling bee? Call her up and beg her to brag. True pals aren’t “joy stompers” (a term coined by my good buddy Annie). They’re the ones who clap the loudest. So grab your pom-poms girls and be THAT friend.

2. Share your secrets

We all have favorite anti-wrinkle creams, maternity jeans or “I-nursed-three-babies” push-up bras. This month, host a “Share Your Secrets” cocktail party where guests bring three helpful “secrets” to share with the group. Sharing your secrets shows some serious love. For added fun, have guests donate a small secret weapon from their arsenal to be raffled off at the end of the party.

3. Hook a mother up

I recently observed a frazzled mom battling to get her newborn into a front carrier while balancing shopping bags, a slick pacifier and a latte. When I asked if she’d like a hand, you’d have thought I just gave her a new car. Don’t be afraid to help a sister-mom out, even if you’ve never met.

4. Use your e-mail for good

Another of my recent discoveries are the FREE and fiercely fun e-cards available at Hallmark.com. My family’s favorite cards are from the Hoops and YoYo collection. They’re a surefire way to add spontaneous shine to a friend’s spirit.

5. Show ‘em you love ‘em

Last year I hosted a grown-up Valentine’s Day tea party for some of my mom pals. Over a few kid-free hours, we indulged in full-fat treats, fancy cups and saucers and slow, uninterrupted conversation. It’s a simple and brilliant way to say “thanks sister!” to your most treasured friends.

*Don’t save this idea for next year…you can throw a love-fest tea party anytime!