September 17, 2009
baby pictures are like crack cocaine
So today I’m just walking through my 6 hour kid-free day, sipping my cold cup of this morning’s coffee, digging my new found no-kids-til-3:00 pm freedom and slowly side tackling each line on my happy little to- do list when…. KA-BLAM-0! I’m hit and I’m down, hard.
I simply opened up iphoto, hit the wrong button and the next thing I knew I was on my knees free-basing the baby pictures. Half-an hour later I’m hunched over the monitor, weepy, confused, and a little high.
I either need a serious “what in heavens name are you thinking” intervention, or I need to just pump out one more kid, get my dealer’s supply snipped off (literally), and call it a day.
My sweet, loving, and annoyingly rational husband would be the ring-leader of the first of these two options.
I’ve been struggling with this slow walk toward advanced maternal age for a couple years now, and it’s not getting any easier. In fact I’m a bit more panicked and paranoid than ever.
I have both boys in full day school, I bought a puppy last Spring to ease my maternal urges during the day, and I’m loving my time to write and explore other opportunities.
But my internal Angelina Jolie keeps busting through, and not in the way my husband would hope.
I’ve even come dangerously close to paying my friend real money to let me babysit her ridiculously cute three-year-old while she plays tennis once a week, assuring her I’m not a freak, but just in need of a quickie toddler fix.
Is there a pill for the really irrational and your-getting-too-old-to-have-another-baby blues?
Maybe I should start a support group. All I know is that those nasty little baby pictures are bringing me down, and could land me in oversized jumpsuits & headed for lock-down for another 5 -7 yrs.
I’m with you. My youngest (and supposedly final) is only 10m and already I’m feeling the urge. It doesn’t help that she weaned early and is already walking. I haven’t gotten my full baby fix out of her yet.
But 5 more years of daycare…ouch.
I keep waiting for the morning when I’ll wake up and shout..”.babies bite, and I want no part of someone latching onto my girl parts anymore!”
I don’t thinks it’s gonna happen. I probably go right from this state to being that mother-in-law that drops baby hints three days after my boys get married.
oy.
oh dear, how do i respond to this one ever so gently?? have another already!! you know you want to! remember what i told you; if you are still feeling pangs of regret, it isn’t time to hang up your mommy of young in’s yet. yes, some (actually many) moms think i am certifiable for being preggo with numero 5. i’d love to take tennis lessons, write more than little snippits at a time and actually use the bathroom uninterupted, but i can’t imagine it any other way. you’ll know when you are done, and when you are, that number of children will be perfect for you. i think we all have our own internal “mom clocks” that say done! if allowed to have that choice. hang in there sister…you’ll be fine either way!
I feel your pain, dear friend. Great now you’ve got me thinking again…
I will join the support group if you start one!
Now that I am recovering from my brain surgery and am getting physically strong enough to even consider having another baby, I have been feeling that urge. Plus, Jeremy will be off to COLLEGE in less than 5 years! 5 years until I am all on my own to do my own thing! Am I crazy to want another, is it just the fear of change, or is it a rational desire stemming from the knowledge that I will regret if I do not have another? I have no idea of that answer yet, so I can’t help you make your decision. I do suggest you ask yourself and Jon what you want to be doing in ten years, and see if another baby fits into those goals…that is what I am trying to do currently.
You will make the decision that is right for you and Jon.
Oprah got me pregnant. I let her make all the tough decisons in my life. Makes things a lot easier!
Heija:)
When I was in the midst of having children, several people told me that I would know when I was done. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling like I was done because I love children and always knew that I wanted to be a Mommy more than anything. Well, after finding out I was pregnent with my third child I knew I was done. It was like a switch went off and as grateful as I am for my three beautiful children, I know that my child bearing days are behind me and I am glad, grateful, and satisfied. I really believe we instinctively know when we are done…
The third one generally conveys to many of us that the good Lord gave you 2 eyes, 2 ears,2 arms, 2 legs and the third one means you just ran out of body parts!!!
I typically don’t share this information but because we are in the Hoo-Dee-Hoo cocoon…
Last week I wasn’t feeling well. I sent Mr. to the store for a test. He brought it home and I teared up out fear when he handed it to me. After the test came back with one line, I sobbed out of disappointment. Luckily my husband takes for better or worse seriously because he would have good reason to go looking for saner pastures!
Meredith, I remember talking to you about this TWO YEARS ago outside of Flynn Guitars. I, too, could not decide whether or not to go for the third. I talked and talked about it to anyone who would listen. I worried that I was too old, that there would be too much space between number 2 and number 3 – you name it, I worried about it. Finally, I decided that if I couldn’t stop thinking about a third, I must really want one, and I should just shut up and go for it. Well, I went for it, and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I am now older than I was when I first start worrying about being old, with a bigger space between kids than I would have had if I had just taken the plunge when I first started with my obssession. But then I tell myself I wouldn’t have this cute little guy that I have now. By the way, back in the day when I was deliberating, your neighbor and a certain other woman whose name starts with “M” were also deliberating. We all took the plunge, we all have our little toddlin’ cabooses that are the light of our lives, and I think we would all tell you that if you think you want to, you should go for it. Everything else will fall into place.
Oh boy,
Here ya all are saying jump in one more time and my mother who is deathly afraid to fly may have just bought a plane ticket to come and talk me down from the ledge.
My husband has chosen to remain in a “does this mean I get more tail?” state of complete denial.
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Terrific! Angelina’s new movie looks slammin. I’ll definitely like it!
Read the landlord’s post, I fell into serious reflections.