August 1, 2010
A Shot of Summer Camp…on the rocks
He’s almost 13.
He’s been dreaming of this two week adventure for 6 months.
He’s completely ready, willing, and able to be away from home.
He’s beside himself with excitement.
He’s really happy.
And I am sick to my stomach.
I live in a place where sleep away camp is de rigueur. Kids routinely go away for four weeks at a time by the age of 8, into the deep woods of Wisconsin or Michigan without much adu at all. It’s what these kids do.
But I grew up in rural Western Pennsylvania during the 70’s and 80’s, where sleep away camp meant a few nights at Camp Cherry Hill with the girl scouts and as many sleepovers as you could stuff into 6 weeks. I have no frame of reference for this whole summer camp thing. I’m ill-prepared for this.
We’ve offered this independant venture up to Max for the past two years knowing our kid would respond with a faint “no thanks”, preferring to hang here for the summer, with us.
And we were always kinda relieved and thrilled when he routinely met our expectations, and said he had no interest in going away.
But this year, somewhere between the first day of 6th grade and oh, Christmas, a switch was flipped. One of his best buds who has gone to camp for two years had been telling him epic tales of the glory of amazing “camptivities” and bon fires and night hikes, and a store where you can buy candy every night if you want. And Max took the juicy, “come to sleep-away camp” bait, and has been unwilling to release his jaw from that little worm for anything.
This year he was going.
And he did this morning.
There we were at 8:30 AM standing in front of the YMCA, with his REI stuff sack and Army Store duffle bag bursting at it’s green seams, sending our first born into the wild.
And there I stood, lump firmly planted in throat, wearing giant sunglasses and a fake smile to mask the inevitable flood of maternal emotion. My conscience urging me “don’t let the boy see you cry, don’t let the boy see you cry, stop yourself woman!” I waved as hard as I could, giving him the thumbs up as I strained to see his sillouette through the tinted bus windows. Then, without any fireworks or fanfare, they pulled away toward Michigan. Next stop… the cabin, canoe, and kid encrusted promised land of Camp Echo.
I’ve armed him with everything he’ll need to stay safe, comfy, semi-clean and happy for two weeks “on his own”. He’s had private swim lessons for the past 5 weeks so that he can “rock” the swim evaluation, there’s a letter already on its way to his cabin, 3 cans of suncreen and bug-repellent in his duffle, money in his account for a camp sweatshirt and that promised nightly candy run, and a new copy of Camp Foxtrot (the book he begged me to get him), in his backpack.
We’ve talked about making good choices while he’s away, brushing his teeth everynight, making use of the showers at least every other day, and the importance of hydration. We’ve done all we can to get him ready.
But when you see your kid disappear into the distance, setting off to explore uncharted territory without you, your forced to gulp this uncomfortable cocktail of pride, and fear, and joy, and loathing, shaken not stirred.
Really, it’s more like a swiftly swallowed shot of what you’ve known was coming since you were handed this kid.
Someday, he won’t need you as much.
He’ll make good decisions all on his own and remember to brush his teeth for more than 10 seconds without you yelling “longer!!” from the other room, and he’ll be really happy…apart from you.
And that’s exactly what you’ve been working toward all this time. It’ s a tasty shot in the end.
But it still burns a little going down.
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How did you manage not to go to summer camp? I should have dragged you to mine. It was some of my fondest childhood memories. Riley just came back from cub scout camp – sleeping in tents, hiking, swimming in a lake, canoeing, dining hall songs, you name it. Still glowing from the four day experience. I slept next to none those days he was gone. Max is going to love it! Good luck to you Max’s Mom. You can do it!
Oh friend – my chest was tight as I started to read and I had to force myself to breathe by the end – what a wonderful mom you are!! And how beautifully you capture these moments, the emotions, the pride, the fear….. I’m a few years away from this still BUT am starting to experience glimpses of this: Someday, he won’t need you as much.
He’ll make good decisions all on his own and remember to brush his teeth for more than 10 seconds without you yelling “longer!!” from the other room, and he’ll be really happy…apart from you.”
And it simply hurts to consider…
You are awesome! Thinking of you! xoxo
Oh Meredith….this pulls at my heart strings…..i could sooooo feel this line
“your forced to gulp this uncomfortable cocktail of pride, and fear, and joy, and loathing, shaken not stirred” and I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD to it!!
BUT. I did go to camp…not for four weeks but it DID rock..I had loads of fun and though I wouldn’t admit it to my friends, I missed my family terribly. So when I got home I was triple grateful for all of them!!
Thinking of you! xoxoxo
Thank you so much girls for your sweet. sweet comments.
I’m feeling good this AM, knowing deep in my soul that he is coming into his own right now. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this camp from the kids, counselors and parents, so I know he’ll be well taken care of and have the time of his life.
And now Tru and I are having “camp mom” for the next two weeks. He’s never known the glory of being the only child, where there is no negotiating with a sibling about anything!! The movie and lunch and game he picks…he gets!
Thanks again girls!!
I REALLY appreciate knowing ya’ll feel my pangs.
xoxoxo,
m
You will get a different boy back but it is all so good and just right. Max is such a great kid! He will surely have stories to tell. Can’t wait to hear them. You are a super Mom and have made him more than ready.
Hope he hears your voice in his head reminding him to eat his veggies.
And there ya have it!! Well put, you know the day is coming when you need to let them find their wings, everyone says it “goes so quick” and you can’t imagine a day without diapers!!! I was ok the first 2 weeks, this past week I am discovering how much that son of mine has been my rock! Well that’s not his job, and I have another week to remind myself of that!!! I will be a terrible empty nester!!! Keepin’ you in my thoughts! XOXO
I’ve been trying to talk my 11 year old into going to camp for the past 3 years. He is simply a mamma’s boy and I know this needs to change. He will NOT even consider it. When he was 8, he was hesitant but went to a 2 night 3 day football camp at my college a couple hours away. He even took a friend. I mistakenly let him take a cell phone knowing he would have some issues at night. He called me 15,000 times a night crying his little eyes out. He was fine during the day but literally didn’t sleep a wink at night. And, I might mention, either did I. So, when your son comes home with great stories and fun pictures, please share them so my son can find some motivation!
Believe it or not my hubby found you while he was researching social networking stuff for his company. Tuned in today and watched your last several entries. I laughed out loud, and loved every minute. Noticed you enjoy Lizzie as well. She lives close by in Northern CA. I’ve been a total blog failure this Summer as I’ve found too many fun things to do with my kids. The break has been so good for me…I’m looking forward to jumping back in full force in the Fall. Would love to have you come on by sometime. Connecting with other vloggers makes my day:) Holly from Lifelaughlatte
You are great parents and Max and Tru are so lucky you can afford to give them these fantastic opportunities. Girl Scout camp wasnt a bad week on budget. I remember you and Lauren having a ball!!!
Oh I LOVED Girl Scout Camp!!!
Just wish it would have been longer:) I don’t remember any of my friends growing up going away to camp. ever. Just don’t think it was a thing many people did in our community.
AND what we LOVE about Camp Echo is that kids can get scholarships to go. It’s VERY diverse. Not at all like our neighborhood here on the North Shore. Love that. This is not a fancy camp by any means.
Hey, we picked OUR 13-year-old up today and she’s one happy camper! We all missed her energy & crazy humor, especially her little brothers, but her first camping experience was a huge success. She has lots of stories to share, new adventures to revel in & she’s spilling over with pride. I’m sure Max will love it & be planning future adventures on the ride home! Now, hopefully you all on the homefront will survive…
Beautifully, beautifully written, Meredith. While I am not to the point where my girls will be going to Summer camp, I can relate to the slow letting go of them. Every year I creep closer to not being their “number one” and not wanting to spend all of their time with me. I hope Max had a wonderful time and that it exceeded his expectations. Kudos to you for letting him go. We all have to do it some time. (Thanks for going first!) oxoxxo
Merrily (…I tried to type Meredith but you will always be Merrily to me). I so enjoy reading your adventures and having a little peak into the Sinclair Family. Thanks for sharing.